Irn-Bru, a cigarette; and chronic insomnia.
Right now it is a quarter past four on Wednesday morning. I went to bed at about twenty to one and in the gap between then and now I have had the rough equivalent of twenty-two minutes of sleep. I fall asleep; I wake up, look at the clock expecting to be late for work; and what happens? It’s the maximum of three minutes later than when I had last seen the clock!
It’s pretty crap. So now I’m sat here at my computer writing this. Having a cigarette and drinking Irn-Bru. The screen severely burns my eyes every time I look up. So excuse any spelling mistakes. I love Irn-Bru! I never used to drink it, but now I’m trying to cut out caffeine in what I drink, it’s the only thing that tastes good and has a small amount of caffeine in that I like! I could have ‘water’ I suppose. But its lime scale looks and odorous stench of sick tell my body’s immune system that, in fact; it’s not immune and drinking it would probably kill me. So Irn-Bru saves the day!
Oh yeah, just so everyone knows and it is out in the open; I hate you all.
My cat, inappropriately named ‘Kitten’ has just decided to chew on my arm. Bitch. So now I have to ask myself one question: how should I butcher and get rid of the corpse of this young one?
(NEVER put a comment on here asking how I sleep at night? I don’t asshole.)
Oh how I will love it when I’m in power and the biggest and most expensive thing on the stock market is oxygen.
Right, no more not-slept-in-ages bullshit. Time to order pizza and beer. Do they deliver beer? They probably don’t just to piss me off. I think I will make a delivery liquor service and become rich. Think about it, there is a house party and no-one can be bothered to go to the shop to get more alcohol; the best thing ever would be to call up and have it delivered straight to your door! I could even get my own cool slogan like:
‘Chilled beer and guns delivered to a door near you!’
I decided to put the guns in because I like them, and the best thing to have when drunk is a .44 special. (You get diminished responsibility so can get rid of the bitches you never liked and get less time for it!) And ‘a door near you’ because no one can cruise around with a boot load of alcohol and not drink it. Hence there is no certainty that it will arrive at your house.
DO NOT steal my idea because I know where you live and show no mercy.
-Damien
It’s pretty crap. So now I’m sat here at my computer writing this. Having a cigarette and drinking Irn-Bru. The screen severely burns my eyes every time I look up. So excuse any spelling mistakes. I love Irn-Bru! I never used to drink it, but now I’m trying to cut out caffeine in what I drink, it’s the only thing that tastes good and has a small amount of caffeine in that I like! I could have ‘water’ I suppose. But its lime scale looks and odorous stench of sick tell my body’s immune system that, in fact; it’s not immune and drinking it would probably kill me. So Irn-Bru saves the day!
Oh yeah, just so everyone knows and it is out in the open; I hate you all.
My cat, inappropriately named ‘Kitten’ has just decided to chew on my arm. Bitch. So now I have to ask myself one question: how should I butcher and get rid of the corpse of this young one?
(NEVER put a comment on here asking how I sleep at night? I don’t asshole.)
Oh how I will love it when I’m in power and the biggest and most expensive thing on the stock market is oxygen.
Right, no more not-slept-in-ages bullshit. Time to order pizza and beer. Do they deliver beer? They probably don’t just to piss me off. I think I will make a delivery liquor service and become rich. Think about it, there is a house party and no-one can be bothered to go to the shop to get more alcohol; the best thing ever would be to call up and have it delivered straight to your door! I could even get my own cool slogan like:
‘Chilled beer and guns delivered to a door near you!’
I decided to put the guns in because I like them, and the best thing to have when drunk is a .44 special. (You get diminished responsibility so can get rid of the bitches you never liked and get less time for it!) And ‘a door near you’ because no one can cruise around with a boot load of alcohol and not drink it. Hence there is no certainty that it will arrive at your house.
DO NOT steal my idea because I know where you live and show no mercy.
-Damien
posted by Damien at Wednesday, September 14, 2005
2 Comments:
EEEEEEEEEERRRRRRR...EEEEEEEERRRRR...EEEEEEEEEERRRRR..
"this is a test post from the new blogging widget.... this is only a test"
EEEEEEEEEEEERRR...EEEEEEEERRRRR...EEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRR
Damn... everytime I hear that alert I think it's the friggin end of the world!!
Thanks dave mate.
and as for 'awaterpixie'
I HOPE YOU CHOKE.
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