The myth of self-esteem.
(Why thinking you are great will get you nowhere.)
For a long time now, people have associated high self-esteem with good test results, happier lifestyles and overall good achievements. This however is quite wrong. Receiving lots of praise from someone for no reason is actually counter-productive.
I do not think that having a high self-esteem makes you any happier. Yes you feel more valued, but the positive effect of this is negated by the fact that you are only more valued by yourself. Having a high self-esteem has little actual effect on anyone else. Unless of course, you repeatedly try to tell other people why you value yourself, but then it just annoys people, as it would be suggesting that you are superior to them.
So by thinking more of yourself, everyone else thinks less of you. Bugger.
High self-esteem does not raise your ability to do well in anything. Having a decent view of yourself does not change how good you are at anything. For example, there is a highly intelligent child with a low self-esteem, and a slightly less intelligent person with a high self-esteem. Obviously, the more intelligent one would get a higher mark in a maths test regardless of Esteem.
High self-esteem at work can be quite bad too; it would make you feel as though you were able to complete a task better than anyone else, even if you can’t. Hence, your work colleagues would find this to be insulting, especially if you are not as good at it as they are.
Does a high self-esteem help you behave? No is the answer. Praising someone constantly will not stop him/her from cheating, stealing, engaging in risky sex or abusing drugs. Making someone feel good about him or her selves will not change the way they think of things. So it does not lessen the chance of them stealing or so on.
Just like an adult who has a high self-esteem will not generally be more popular amongst their peers.
So this so called ‘self-esteem’ is nothing more than a cheap drug, it picks you up for a while, yet doesn’t improve any of your physical or mental traits or ability’s. Plus it has down effects too, in the extreme case for example, it can even lead to narcissism. (Excessive self-love.) And if other people neglect the fact that you are ‘excellent’ then it could often lead to violence. So self-esteem is not good for you.
I’m not saying that to help yourself you have to hate yourself, just forget about “self-esteem” and learn some humility.
-Damien
For a long time now, people have associated high self-esteem with good test results, happier lifestyles and overall good achievements. This however is quite wrong. Receiving lots of praise from someone for no reason is actually counter-productive.
I do not think that having a high self-esteem makes you any happier. Yes you feel more valued, but the positive effect of this is negated by the fact that you are only more valued by yourself. Having a high self-esteem has little actual effect on anyone else. Unless of course, you repeatedly try to tell other people why you value yourself, but then it just annoys people, as it would be suggesting that you are superior to them.
So by thinking more of yourself, everyone else thinks less of you. Bugger.
High self-esteem does not raise your ability to do well in anything. Having a decent view of yourself does not change how good you are at anything. For example, there is a highly intelligent child with a low self-esteem, and a slightly less intelligent person with a high self-esteem. Obviously, the more intelligent one would get a higher mark in a maths test regardless of Esteem.
High self-esteem at work can be quite bad too; it would make you feel as though you were able to complete a task better than anyone else, even if you can’t. Hence, your work colleagues would find this to be insulting, especially if you are not as good at it as they are.
Does a high self-esteem help you behave? No is the answer. Praising someone constantly will not stop him/her from cheating, stealing, engaging in risky sex or abusing drugs. Making someone feel good about him or her selves will not change the way they think of things. So it does not lessen the chance of them stealing or so on.
Just like an adult who has a high self-esteem will not generally be more popular amongst their peers.
So this so called ‘self-esteem’ is nothing more than a cheap drug, it picks you up for a while, yet doesn’t improve any of your physical or mental traits or ability’s. Plus it has down effects too, in the extreme case for example, it can even lead to narcissism. (Excessive self-love.) And if other people neglect the fact that you are ‘excellent’ then it could often lead to violence. So self-esteem is not good for you.
I’m not saying that to help yourself you have to hate yourself, just forget about “self-esteem” and learn some humility.
-Damien
posted by Damien at Thursday, May 19, 2005
1 Comments:
"Obviously, the more intelligent one would get a higher mark in a maths test regardless of Esteem."
Poor example - if the more intelligent child thought so little of their own abilities, they may not even attempt a question that in reality they do have the ability to answer, whereas the less intelligent child may attempt a question that they don't know fully and get marks for attempting it.
Self-Esteem is not the same as self-love. Esteeming yourself (as the definition states) is synonymous with respecting yourself, which, while not the same as loving yourself is far better than thinking you're a piece of sh1t (which too many people think about themselves!).
Basically, self-esteem is "thinking you're worth something", and you are! That doesn't mean you're necessarily better than your colleagues or friends at things you want to be good at, but it means you are WORTH just as much as they are (as a human being).
Self-esteem isn't worth money, or promotion, or job prospects, or anything material really. It's your self-respect, and that's all. If you don't have any self-respect then you're more likely to abuse yourself. If you have self-respect, then you're more likely to try harder, even if you fail. It enables you to fail without that being your defining characteristic (i.e. failing).
My view is; don't give up, and remember that you are worth self-respect.
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